Anxiety is No Match for the B.

 The word for B is Bearings, foundations cannot be built without bearings baby.

Know your bearings by being aware of what’s around you and which direction you want to go. I am sure by now you can tell I am not one of those, “You just have to stay positive people.” I am more of an F Positive and her sister Acceptance too, kind of gal. I realize that neurotypicals may find that staying positive in the face of difficulty works for them. Panic attacks and mind-numbing anxiety has not allowed for the laid back lifestyle I have longed for. A small deviation from what I have planned for sends me into a tailspin of spiraling that would make any pilot smile. I prefer for everything to flow nicely, no surprises because that happens right? Having your bearings in an unbearable world can help ease anxiety.

woman with arms outstretched against blue sky
Photo by Chevanon Photography

My reactions have been a distraction for my entire life. Panic filled reactions have screwed me so many times I feel like we are in an abusive relationship. I lose it and panic over issues that really were not worth the panic they inspired. My overreactions have embarrassed both myself and anyone else unlucky enough to be around me at the time. When I am medicated I feel much calmer about the world and I start to think I can handle life without medication, time divided by me unmedicated, equals I cannot. I forget how no medication me reacts to life, destroying all the bridges I have made or rebuilt. With my bearings in mind, I continue my therapy and my medications for a much better overall medicated me.

I have a wonderfully direct and dead-on therapist. I am sure she doesn’t want me to say her name but I have always lacked boundaries, we are working on it huh Erica Remsberg? Erica specialty is dealing with traumatized b’s like me, she tells me like it is when I am seeing it like it ain’t. Erica has spent years helping me, teaching me to embrace my real self. Working with Erica over the years has helped me find my bearings.

 

Using my bearings and my medications to normalize has helped me have a stronger sense of direction. I am learning coping mechanisms that ground me.  I stop my rollercoaster of madness before it begins by reaching for a big bag of bearings. We are all on a journey and we can leave this world better having known us or worse for wear. I choose better, I am aware of how hard it is to refocus the mind to become better, not bitter. I fight the bitter me every day.

To fight your inner anxieties, find your bearings. Do not stop believing in yourself that you can change your life, no matter what you are facing or have faced. Learn where you want to go and head in that direction. Keep going towards your goals no matter what and life will be more bearable.

Happy Healing,

Nik

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