F is for Failure, my feels like I am falling friends.
I am of a simple mind when life gives you a rollercoaster ride of freakouts and f-ups you have to find a way to fail fabulously. Failure is to be unsuccessful, to lose, to give up.
Failure is inevitable, we all fail in different ways and on different days, my friends. To try is to fail, sometimes failing takes your brave away and after a few minutes or months when the rubble clears, failure can inspire you to move on and move up, if you allow yourself to see, everyone fails. I happen to be a failing fabulously frontier pioneer, follow me down the rabbit hole and I will tell you some of what I went through and maybe baby this will help you too.
I had a meltdown of biblical proportions a couple of years ago, I could no longer keep my fragile fractured self together. I had a f-ed up childhood filled with abuse and neglect. I had failed at almost all of my relationships since and was slowly killing the life that was in any of the relationships I had left. I felt like a complete failure at having children having many losses, no matter what was tried and tried and tried. A Failure in myself as no matter the accomplishment I needed to be better, a failure in my job where I was not good enough and a failure in my family, who felt battered by me and my constant needs.
I began to feel as if I were only meant to suffer and suffer I did for most of my lifetime. I spiraled into the numbness that surrounds you like a pill filled blanket. I rarely left my house except for when I had to, which thanks to amazon, has become sparingly indeed. Failing so many times in my life, wore me down and I stopped trying, in almost every capacity. I stopped caring about my health, I stopped caring about my future, what future?
My depression overcame me and I gave up on life and resigned myself to meh mediocrity. I tried for nothing but to keep myself afloat, endurance was my end game. My job in healthcare no longer felt helpful to anyone’s health but the finances of corporations who run them. Then this awful destroying moment happened in my life and I fell into a failure-free fall for a while. I started seeing Merica as I could not function in my life. I was self-destructing faster than a power plant in a Marvel movie and I needed help. Merica helped me see the sins of the parents are not ours and we can change who we are.
Failing is fabulous as we get to start over and let our dreams take us to new heights. I prayed as I had not in years, I began to write and paint again as I had not in years and I began to grow, as a person and as a woman. I changed my life by failing at it, who knew! I have grown from all the flipping failures and it is fabulous!
The realization of becoming this new me only came from the worst moments of my life. I am grateful for the trails as I am fabulously no longer afraid to fail. I embrace failing now and I will learn from it and if this blog fails and my do-over dream of being a writer fails; I am so grateful for the chance to change my life and grow with you that I feel I have already won. These unforeseen failures that happened in my life have created this mostly functional somewhat funny female you read before you. You’re welcome!
When life presents so many wrongs in your life, it is easy to forget that there are rights for you out there. If you hold on to what is possible and let go of the past, I promise you will come out better for having been through it.
Failure is a chance to rebuild yourself and become who you want to be. Everything in life is a choice and you can choice to win, even when you lose. Failure is a gift from God, a redo just for you! A chance to change who you used to be, to who you want to be. Give yourself a chance to fail, for a little bit of amazing is better than a life of meds and mediocrity. Learn to thrive, learn to live, learn from the f-ups that move you forward and remember to do it all while, failing Fabulously. I see there is I in next week’s guide!