Honesty is Honestly, All We Have.

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H is for Honesty! honestly my health inspectors!

Honesty:  To have integrity, to be free from deception. To live your truth.

Finding freedom from deception is cleansing. But how, you may be asking, do you live an honest life in a world where truth is perceived and not absolute?

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It is cleansing to swim in a pool of honesty and Honestly, we have to go through the layers of pain we have built to get to healing ourselves. Finding my own personal truth is a journey that I am learning to enjoy although the intensity can be overwhelming. I had to learn, If I was not willing to rip myself apart with my own personal truth than I was doomed to remain on the hamster wheel; Going in circles repeating the same BS mistakes.

I cannot change what has happened in my life. The choices I have made in the past have made me who I am now. Nor can I expect others to bow down before me because bad things happened that were beyond my control. In life, we have to play the cards we are dealt and sometimes that hand is crap. Life is a hot mess, it can be it is a lot easier to blame others for your  unhappiness than to blame yourself. We control our happiness, it is all on us to find our own path to happiness. My blame gaming has only ever held me back i need to forgive and move on.

To find the peace and understanding we all crave we have to adapt our lives. We cannot control other people nor their perceptions of who we are.  I thank God, we can change the way we deal with lifes poo storm.  I know you are giving me the stink eye right now,  as we with mental challenges did not choose to be how we are. I feel confident in saying no one chooses to be a jerk or social outcast even norms.  While life may not be fair for us at least we have the ability to learn a new way from each other. 

pexels-photo-847484  Honest to God I am living an honest life now and its hard to be so open and vulnerable. But I have tried everything else but facing myself

 

My M.O. is a mofo, just a constant circle of f-upidness that keeps spinning like the skinny b’s in a cycle class….going nowhere but going fast.

 

This is my  Honesty,  for me, honestly: When I look back at my life, I feel betrayed by the hand I had been dealt.  I am angry at people in my life for not understanding; I am angry at God for making my Journey that much harder and at myself for my inability to keep my shit together. I keep repeating the same patterns and I don’t know if it’s my disabilities or just me that keeps me going in circles. 

 

I will continue to be honest with myself and with others because frankly I am tired of the ride and I want to get off.  I am breaking this cycle, by writing and by any means neccasary . I am being honest and being kind to myself while going through this as it is a lot…who knew personal growth is possible?

nd an outlet, paint, write, run, whatever helps you clear the fog in your head. Allowing you to see the truth of the situation and not the story you are making up as you go along but the objective truth based on facts. 

If you have not watched the Netflix special from Berne Brown yet then I highly suggest you do so. Ms Brown changed my life with her simple statement of “the Story I am Telling Myself (Brown, 2019) . ” Watch the vid for more info on her message, she really helped me.

Before I board the train to unhinged heights, I think to myself” okay, so what’s the reals here, what’s the story?” Then I do the most amazing thing ever, I write that story and try to figure out if I am crazy or killing it with my meticulous insight. Guess which one generally wins in that war of the hemispheres.

We want people to like us especially if we are outside the social norms and I say F people-pleasing and stop going the extra mile for validation from people that really do not matter in your life. Be honest with yourself and with the people that matter to you.  

Talk it out with someone you trust and learn to live a life of personal honesty. Be brave and be yourself. I am telling you by being your true self,  you will free your soul and fill your life with self-empowerment. Be the best you and be kind to yourself in this process we are all struggling with something, honestly. 

Happy healing,

Nik

 

Reference

“Brené Brown: The Call to Courage.” Netflix Official Site, 19 Apr. 2019, www.netflix.com/title/81010166.

 

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