I often find myself lost in my own mind. I will admit nobody loves the sound of their own voice more than me and often I will strick up an internal conversation to debate my reclusive nature, got to love irony. I like to contemplate my next painting or written words long before I write them down. I accept my introvert life, love the stability of only counting on me. That being said, it can be a safe but lonely life and I am done with solitary confinement
The time has come to move out of my comfort zones and coexist with the world. My story is a serenade of personal growth and to grow I must leave my sanctuary and interact with strangers, ewwe. I would much rather stay in and stay safe, locked away with myself, oh how I love me.
I do not like mixing with people I do not know and now that COVID is here, well it is all the excuse I need to never leave my home again. If only complete seclusion was a viable option.
Social distancing has certainly eased my struggles.
Going to the grocery store is now an apocalyptic mission, half the people are doing as they should while the other half are all maskless and consider social distancing a sitcom on NBC. If you want to get certain items you have to venture out, toilet paper hoarders have a special place in hell, in my opinion, you know who you are.
Nothing stops me from socializing like the sea of sounds from a crowd of strangers. Once many moons ago I went on a first date at a casino, it did not go well. The many distractions and the lights led to a complete panic attack the poor guy was at a loss. Surprisingly he never called for a second date, wonders never cease. I find myself eavesdropping on multiple conversations at once whether I want to or not. Sometimes it is completely overwhelming, all the chatter and random other noises that surround me.
Erica my Sultan of sanity, AKA therapist, encourages me to get out there all the time. I generally agree but never do it. She gave me an added layer of protection by telling me to take it slow and use these tips.
I wear my sunglasses making it easier to avoid eye contact or my headphones to avoid the many distracting sounds around me. Dealing with large crowds can be a huge stressor by adding in “just in case items” I have been able to venture out more.
Even in this time of lockdown, there are still things that I can do socially without ever being social. I realize that is not the goal but when this crisis is over, these practice runs will allow me to really get out there, hopefully. Every journey starts with a step and I believe I am stepping it up by stepping out, even when it scares me. I hope using these methods can save you from a secluded life as they are saving me.