Over The Could Haves and Through The Shoulds’.

photo of woman blowing bubble gum while leaning over near yellow intermodal container
Photo by Edu Carvalho

That’s right ladies and gentlemen it’s time for O! Over is this O word, my overly talented onlookers, as in I am over it.

What do I mean? Move on, to move away, to stop, to get around the obstacle, to get over it.

I cannot tell you how much I am over not getting over the little things. I’m over constantly going over details in my head that have already happened. Obsessing over possible problems that could happen, have happened, or may never happen. Which brought me to the question, how do I stop and get over the issue before the issue is all over me?

One of my greatest challenges is getting out my own way, getting over cracks in my plans and allowing life’s hiccups to flow as they should instead of how I think they should.

landscape sky clouds hd wallpaper
Photo by Donald Tong

Every year my BFF and I take a trip somewhere new to get away from it all. This was our first trip out of the country, I was way more over the top than normal to deal with, the last couple of weeks prior to the trip.

I love researching the perfect place with the best reviews for a week-long get-a-way, I way over-do it: I overpack, I repack, then repack again, I over plan every activity. I go over every detail of the itinerary and over and over and over, well you get the picture. By the time we get where ever we are going, I am a complete mess and that’s if all goes as planned.

My BFF is well aware of my crazy and has come to terms since 2008. My need to obsess has only gotten stronger and more rigid.  I have to tell you this girl is probably the most easy-going optimistic person I’ve ever met. Her cool composure is really annoying and endearing on occasion when the closest I can get to Zen is when I order food from the Zen Forest Restaurant. But she is, for me, the best BFF, because she keeps me from being the dick that loses her mind, most of the time.

The sheer magnitude of the mind-plosion when my plans go astray can best be described as WTF?

All my painstaking preparations for this trip made no difference at all. As soon as we touched down my plans caught fire at the so-called “resort” not one thing went as prepaid for. When you plan every last detail right down to the nitty-gritty as planning goes south you have two options either get over it and get on board or go up in flames. I am guessing you can guess which way I burned up.

 Like any full-grown adult about to throw a tantrum over beyond their control moments; I reacted with emotion and began a full-blown bitch fest to my friend. My BFF was as travel-weary and irritated inside as I was. Somehow she was still calm as a cucumber on the outside. She gave me some shrewd advice, which normally I would ignore.  She looked at me with a half-smile and said “We are already here, let’s be here… Let’s look at this as a lesson in life, let’s enjoy the S show with liquor and have fun anyway.”

person laying on sand
Photo by Rebeca G Souza

 I wanted to storm the desk at the injustice, how dare they!

Which, more than likely, would ruin any chances I or anyone else had of enjoying what beauty was in front of us, instead of bitching about what’s missing. 

Oddly enough for the first time, I listened to what my friend was saying, really listened and realized this was her vacation too. What would make her happy was for me to let it go and let it go I did.

Oh not right away or anything I am still me but it goes against my very nature to overlook, well anything. I took till day 3 to chill but I let it go and surprisingly, by the third day of wannabe gourmet meals and horrible drinks we were having the best-worst time ever.

I am freely giving to you now, my newly acquired wisdom.  Get the hell over whatever It is that is wrecking your day! Quickly, its who you are, not where you are, that matters!
None of us know how long our clock ticks for. I am pretty sure it is already later than I thought it was, I do not want to waste another moment being crazy over issues beyond my control so I am working on just enjoying the moment and F everything else.

Happy healing,

Nik

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