Learning to Love Like a Boss.

How do people with Depression and Anxiety disorders find can’t-live-without-you love?
I have no idea, loving someone else creates feelings of vulnerability. Love layered in anxiety has led me to depression and more anxiety. I am learning to love who I am by focusing on being No-it-all-2.0. Learning to love myself is the path to loving someone else.

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Honesty is Honestly, All We Have.

I cannot change what has happened in my life. The choices I have made in the past have made me who I am now. Nor can I expect others to bow down before me because bad things happened that were beyond my control. In life, we play the cards we are dealt and sometimes that hand just sucks. Life is a hot mess, it is a lot easier to blame others for my unhappiness than to blame myself. Well according to Erica, my go-to guru, We control our own happiness, it is all on us to find our own path to happiness. My blame gaming has only ever held me back, I need to learn to forgive, let go and move on.

D-Time

I have spent a lifetime allowing others to define me by my subpar behavior, by my outbursts and my forgetfulness; By my high high highs to my low low lows But OCD will not control me.

Assuming All over Myself!

Band-Aids cover the ouch’s for so long, they fix nothing and as my adult life fell apart.  I began to take even more pills per day to calm me. Doctors have prescribed medications to me like handy’s from a three-dollar prostitute, quick and with little discretion. Medications work to slow the crazy but even at my best while on these drugs I feel 60-80% like a real person. My brain is fogged, my liver angry and the bipolar roller coaster was a sentence away from anyone with the courage to disagree with me. I was volatile, reacting in anger because f-them if they hate me, I hate them more… My adult self can see the childishness in that sentence and yet, using it. I was Assuming all over the place, and much like our local meteorologist, I was generally wrong.

Anxiety is No Match for the B,

My reactions have been a distraction for my entire life. Panic filled reactions have screwed me so many times I feel like we are in an abusive relationship. I lose it and panic over things that really were not worth the panic they were paved with. The fun sparks that create an unbearable experience for myself and all those present have without a doubt made my rocky road into a cliff.

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